We have reached the end of Becky’s Squares photo challenge.
This month’s theme was Renew. Or Burgeoning. Or Moving Forward. Or Reconstructing.
You get the idea.
I wasn’t at all sure how to approach this one. In September 2023 my life changed dramatically. It has been a difficult and sad winter and on reflection I was probably more depressed than I thought. Finally watching the garden awaken after months of rain and storms made me think that maybe seeing how nature renews itself might be my theme. My garden (actually any garden) is my happy place and focusing on nature is helping me to move forward.
Before my son Alex left to go to Spain he spent a week with us and helped me to reconstruct my herb garden. We had a vision for this space with the two new raised beds for the herbs, a sunny border for perennials, a spot for my potting table and a small patio for my bistro set, where I could sit in the evening with a G&T and watch the sun setting behind the hill.
It took me a while to find the energy to finish off this area, but finally, this month I got the bistro set out of the shed and my herb garden is now complete. I only wish I could share this with Alex, but I think he would be nodding with approval.
I thank Becky for having the courage and strength to run another square month. She is on her own long and painful journey. Grief is a funny thing. Some days it is very difficult to move forward and some days you find yourself moving backwards, but as Becky herself is fond of saying, “it’s ok not to feel ok“.
My garden is my sanctuary and this month has allowed me to view my garden in a more contemplative way; seeking out the meaning or symbolism of certain flowers; remembering all the times spent with my son. It has been a somewhat emotional journey tinged with both sadness and joy. I have seen how quickly plants, which are dormant over the winter months, renew and I although it saddens me that I shall never see or speak to my boy again, I am hopeful that in the quiet solitude of my garden I will find peace in the healing beauty of nature.
Cornwall in Colours 
I agree with Becky that “it’s okay not to feel okay.” So often we’re required to get on with things or get over things, but really, it takes the time it takes. A beautiful post, Jude.
It’s been a very unsettling time. And yes, I think it is something that I will never really get over, but hopefully it becomes less painful. The garden helps with the healing process.
Well done. Your son will always be with you.
Thank you.
Having the herb garden as an additional memory of your son is poignant, yet also comforting. And the colour of your bistro table set was well chosen too.
Best wishes, Pete. x
Ah, well the bistro set was bought a couple of years ago to match the colour of the painted wooden raised beds and the conservatory, but never really made it to this part of the garden. It’s a perfect spot for spying on the birds visiting the feeder and also to watch the sun set. Just need a few more warmer evenings!
Becky is right, it’s definitely OK not to feel OK. But I sense this month of squares has helped both you and she feel a little more OK more often than you were. I do hope so 🤗 I am sure Alex would be pleased that you’ve finished the work you and he started together.
Thanks Sarah, yes it has helped. Just getting outside has helped, but getting my hands dirty is even better. I was overwhelmed at first with what I had left to do as I was expecting him back for a few weeks to finish off the area. But it looks good now and is exactly how we envisaged it. Both a working space and a relaxing space, surrounded by the scent of herbs and roses.
I have to agree with, Jo. It’s hard to know what to say in response to your loving post. It does take time. It took time to get over both my parents passing away in 2022 and dealing with their estate. Having a child die is different, yet your heart is still broken. But just like bones, broken can heal stronger. Both you and Becky are going through so much. Thank you both for your honesty and willingness to let us in and at least give you what little support we can.
Thank you for your astute comment Janet. Dealing with the estate is hard, having to explain the same thing over and over again is wearying as well as emotional. I think when I finally could wind things up in March I felt a huge weight had lifted. And Becky’s challenge came at just the right time to give me something to concentrate on. I very much appreciate all the love and support that people in the blogging community offer at these times.
💜
There are so many memories connected to this part of your garden and I hope over time this beautiful space brings you much comfort.
Indeed. I have managed to tidy it up (it’s a working area so lots of empty pots and plants that need repotting etc around). And the herb beds need refreshing, but all will happen in time.